I still can't get on that wagon

I'm having trouble getting back on the wagon. I know, I know, last week at this time, I vowed to get back on and do better. Well, I didn't. I let myself down. I ate crap. Again. When I weighed in on my scale at home this morning, I was up 1.4 pounds to 128.2. Sure, this is a lovely number, and many people would be happy to be there. I'm 75% happy that I'm there. But I'm 100% sad that I keep making poor choices over and over again. I have no confidence in my ability to take control of my eating habits for the rest of my life, and make smart choices all the time. My friend, Molly, says we haven't been doing Weight Watchers long enough to have formed those lifetime habits. I know she's right. I just wish I could stop being so stubborn and stop expecting perfection immediately. I wish I could give myself a little slack on this journey to developing life-long habits. I wish I could learn to love my body and how it functions, no matter what the scale says, or how jiggly my thighs still are. I wish I believed in myself.

Well, enough of that self-pity. Let's talk about exercising. I love to exercise. I'm not sure why. I guess it makes me feel better about myself, and I'm always striving for the day when I can actually notice a difference in my physique because of it. Since I've lost these approximately 10 pounds recently, I have noticed that my mid-section seems more visibly toned. That makes me feel good. And I guess I also have noticed that my butt seems a little more solid or sturdy. I really think that some of the workouts on my Brazil Butt Lift video series have helped a lot in those areas. The 20 minute ab workout is hard, and so are the targeted glute workouts. Even the 50 minute toning workout really feels like it's doing a lot for me. The only workout that I'm not crazy about is the cardio one... it's a 30 minute, mostly low-impact workout. If I'm doing 30 minutes of cardio, I want it to be one where I'm burning a ton of calories, so I usually skip the BBL cardio.

I created a new workout plan for myself. I really wanted to make sure that I was getting in enough strength and toning, along with my cardio, and I wanted to give myself a day of fun. So on Mondays and Wednesdays, I do workouts that target my lower-half, along with at least 20 minutes of high impact cardio. On Tuesdays, I do an upper body strength workout, sometimes accompanied by cardio, depending on what I decided to do the other days of the week. On Thursdays, I go to Zumba where we spend 30 minutes doing cardio while incorporating toning sticks (1.5 pound weights in each hand the whole 30 minutes), and then 30 minutes doing toning, which might focus on upper or lower body or abs, or a combo of all three. I decided on Fridays that I want to do routines that are fun, easy, or different, and then also focus more on my abs on Fridays. So I'm doing yoga, maybe pilates, and usually a 20 minute ab routine. On Saturdays, I take a regular Zumba class for 60 minutes.

So that's my routine. Sunday is my day of rest. And now that the weather is finally breaking, I might actually get to go walking or walk/jogging for my cardio some mornings. I went out one day early this week. It was wonderful to be outside. And I did a 30 minute routine where I walked 3 minutes and jogged 3 minutes, alternately. I haven't done that in a long time, and I was able to do it just fine. I was so happy about that... oh, except I got a side stitch towards the end that I couldn't work through, so I had to walk at the end. I hate those things.

Hopefully this week will prove to be more successful along my weight loss journey. I really want to get down to below 125 pounds before June 6, which is when the farmer's market starts this year. Last year during market season, I had such a hard time keeping up with everything that exercise and eating well kind of went by the wayside. I was just too tired to continue to get up early and work out. I also didn't have time, because when I did wake up early, it would be to bake, not to exercise. So my goals are this: prior to June 6, weigh-in at less than 125 pounds; during the summer, exercise at least 3 times a week, and maintain my weight loss. Can I do it? I have no idea, but I promise myself that I'm going to try. Wish me luck.