I weighed 131 on Saturday morning. By Tuesday morning, the scale said 134. And on Wednesday, it was 133. Those measurements all came from my old scale. My new scale's measurements were not as friendly. For whatever reason, although I went from 134 to 133 on the old scale, the new scale went from 134.0 to 134.4 between Tuesday and Wednesday. These numbers are all just driving me crazy, and the logical conclusion is to just stop weighing myself for a while. But is that wise? I don't know, but I think I'm going to try it.
And what's up with this eating? I have not eaten well for the past week. Is this a result of me deciding to stop counting and tracking what I'm eating? Maybe. Am I rebelling for all those months of hard work with what felt like not as much progress as I would have expected? Probably. I feel like I've been on a food bender, and it has to stop. But the problem is, I say this every day. And then I go to work, and there's some new sweet treat tempting me, and I give in and eat it. I think of all the months I didn't give in, and then I say to myself, screw it. I want that cinnamon bagel so bad. And then I eat it. Although I have been good about not eating whole pieces of things. Instead, I nibble. But then sometimes I nibble so much over the course of a few hours, I might as well have eaten the whole thing from the start.
Tomorrow, though, I will overcome this problem. I will eat well all day. My lunch is already packed. My snacks are packed. Tuna on a bed of lettuce with fat free dressing. Some grapes and an apple, and some Greek yogurt for snacks. Breakfast will be one serving of cereal with milk. Maybe some Wheat Chex, or Cheerios, or oatmeal. Whatever I choose, it will be good for me, and I will only eat one serving.
Where might I falter? Any time I walk past the kitchen at work. This is my problem. There's always something to snack on in there. Trail mix. Nuts. Honey pretzel twists. Chocolate. Or worse, some kind of dessert. I can say, though, that I have been doing a good job of resisting the chocolate in there. I know that if I start, I won't stop, so I've been resisting, and it's been working. I just need to do the same thing for any other treats that show up.
Another point of failure will be tomorrow evening. It's a Friday, and during Lent, I can't eat meat. We get home at 6, and I'm going to a friend's house at 7 for a ladies' happy hour. I'll have little time to eat, and it can't be meat. This is when I usually give in and just eat whatever I can get my hands on. And that's usually not the best thing for me. So I need to try super hard to only eat what I make myself for dinner, and not nibble on anything else. Then at the happy hour party, I need to resist whatever yummy appetizers or sweets she may have. That will be hard, too, because sometimes at a party, you eat just to have something to do with your hands.
Oh boy, tomorrow could be a disaster. But I'm going to try as hard as I can to not let that happen, and turn the disaster in my head into a real victory. One day at a time. I can do it.
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