Calories burned: 2544
Calorie deficit: 1137
So I officially weighed in today in my Bodybugg program. I was only down 1 pound for the week. Sure, you may say one pound is an accomplishment, but since I weigh myself every day, I know that my weight will go up and down by one pound often, so to me, a one pound weight loss doesn't feel real yet. Who's to say it's just not one of those days where it fluctuated down, and tomorrow it will be back up again? I would have been satisfied with one more pound.
Yesterday was a good day. But how is it possible for me to have so many good days, yet still not feel like I'm making any progress? How could I be working so hard at this and only lose one pound in a week? Some people can lose three, sometimes more, in one week. I've been at this since January 4, and I've got one pound, maybe two, to show for it. Yes, I understand that losing one pound a week is the recommended rate of loss, but I'm just surprised with how hard I've been working at it that this is all I was able to lose.
Anyway, there was no nibbling, sweets, or large portions yesterday. I went for a 30 minute brisk walk in the evening with jack while Lila was at dance class, then I had a 60 minute session with my personal trainer. It was really hard. I was so tired by the time I got home. But I was also starving, so when I got home, having only eaten about 950 calories so far that day, I figured I needed more food. I had one serving of frosted mini wheats with skim milk, and a banana with a tablespoon of peanut butter.
When I logged my weight this morning, the program calculated my actual caloric intake. It knows this because of my calories burned, plus my weight loss. One pound of fat = 3500 calories. It's simple math. So if I burned X number of calories for the week, and only lost 1 pound, it can calculate the actual calories consumed. The program thinks I eat more than I'm logging. It gave me suggestions for how to log more accurately. But you know what? I already do those things... I've given up nibbling, I weigh and measure everything, I read labels closely, and I over-estimate when I'm not sure.
Jack wonders if I've lost all my body can lose, and that's why it's not budging. While I appreciate his attempt to make me feel better, I know that I still have a lot of fat to lose. Have you seen my backside? And even after I reach my goal, IF I reach my goal, I'm sure I'll still have fat to lose, but I'm ok with that. I'm not looking to be movie star pencil thin. I just want to weigh a little less than I do right now and get rid of some of the fat on my body.
But if I have to work this hard to barely lose a pound, imagine what I'll have to do even just to maintain my weight. That depresses me more than anything.
So for today, I'm in a dark place. I'm a slave to my scale, to my diet, and to my workouts, and it's not a healthy relationship right now. I need to get past these feelings of frustration and depression and see the good in what I'm doing. It's just hard right now.
I feel your frustration. You are working so hard. I am mad FOR you.
ReplyDeleteI think you said in an earlier post, something about some people can eat seemingly whatever they want and not gain weight (you referenced Jack). Don't people have different metabolisms? Is the bodybugg accounting for that? How does that thing really work?! I believe that you know how much you have eaten, so you should be losing more weight.
But please have fun on your trip and eat "bad" at least sometimes!